Sunday, December 18, 2011

I had an observation today--nothing earth-shattering. But I have noticed recently that when people ask me or my wife how our "son" is doing, they are invariably referring to Anthony. But when I mention "my son" to others, it could be either Anthony or our younger son, and it is frankly often the latter.

I think I have mentioned this before: I don't actively think much about Anthony. Yes, there are *always* issues with him, but they usually fall within known parameters. For instance, today he urinated on the bathroom floor. It's no big deal in our lives because we know that's a possibility. We clean things up and move on.

But the topics that are generally on my mind regarding our children are our daughter's academics--because she is struggling a bit to find the necessary balance in her life right now, and it's a concern going forward given the things she hopes to accomplish--and our younger son's soccer. My wife would likely be more concerned with his violin. The difference in our viewpoints is that my wife focuses on how to help him with his violin, and I focus on how to help him with his soccer. Because he wants to go as far as he possibly can as a player, I work with him every day, even bundling up to go outside in our currently cold winter temperatures. My wife spends even more time with him daily on the violin than I do with soccer.

So, as I said, this is not a major observation. But it is interesting to me how our family situation seems to be viewed from outside, and how we may look at it differently from within.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Anthony unleashed a new tactic recently for putting holes in our walls. Because my wife has covered the wall in our dining room that he most frequently targets with his head, he sometimes goes out of his way to find another wall to damage. However, he created a new depression with his elbow in the dining room below head-level when he was upset earlier this week.

I realized that he often does not create a full-fledged hole on his first try, but rather finishes the job shortly thereafter on a subsequent attempt. So, I have decided to be proactive and apply drywall compound as soon as reasonably feasible to any new indentations I see. I know it won't look very good, but neither do holes.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Anthony still surprises us occasionally with violent outbursts that we don't see coming. He was fine this afternoon--making goofy noises as he often does when he is in a reasonable mood--when my wife gave him some potato chips, which he likes. Shortly thereafter, he went off. First he put a new hole in the wall. Then, as my wife attempted to give him medication to calm him, he slammed his head into hers. She described it as "EXTREMELY painful". We wish we knew what to do in these instances, or how to prevent them. He got upset again this evening while I was trying to ensure he had enough to eat. Hmmm. As I write that, I wonder if perhaps he has a tooth that is bothering him. I don't want to think about more medical visits.

I wish I could work from home. As Anthony became angry again this evening, I was reminded that he knows better than to come after me. He tries little things like digging his fingernails into my hands, but he frankly knows that head-butting me will produce a response he doesn't like. None of our other family members are strong enough to hurt him back--and thus get him to stop--when he goes after them.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Our doorbell rang tonight, then the person at the door knocked fairly vigorously. I suspected it was our neighbor's daughter, who frequently shows up to ask if our younger son can play. Since he has other things he wants to do if he is not practicing the violin or playing soccer or doing homework, we don't rush to answer the door. In this case, however, Anthony was nearby and opened it!

The visitor was instead a girl from church in our daughter's age group, inviting her to tonight's activity. I had to hurry to the door because she started talking to Anthony, apparently unfamiliar with his lack of cognitive skills.

I am not quite sure how to tell Anthony he can't open the front door. He is used to us telling him to unlock the side door from which family members enter upon returning home, especially because he insists on locking the door in the first place. Perhaps I will have to put a sign on the front door telling people we will answer soon enough if we are there, so they don't have to pound on it to get our attention.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

We can see that Anthony has not yet fully recovered, but there are clear indications that he is getting quite a bit better. First he started becoming much more animated and making noise, to the extent that there have been times when we have wanted to say, "Just shut up already!" The other major sign is much less welcome: he nearly put another hole in the dining room wall this evening when he got inexplicably upset. We certainly did not miss that while he was ill.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Anthony is back home. We had hoped he would be released yesterday, but they kept him for a second night and were talking about a third because they wanted to ensure his oxygen level would be high enough without supplement while he was asleep. We could already tell he was feeling much better without the readings; he was to the point where it was impossible to keep the monitor on his finger or even his toe for any length of time.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Anthony is in the hospital this evening, at least overnight. He has not vomited--I misread him in that regard--but because of further incidents with diarrhea and looking very pale, my wife took him to the doctor thinking perhaps he would need antibiotics. To her surprise, the doctor said he had an unacceptably low oxygen saturation level, and that he needed to be hospitalized immediately. The doctor there confirmed that he has some kind of pneumonia, and further tests are being done tonight to determine whether and what kind of antibiotics should be prescribed. My wife is staying at the hospital with him.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

How do you deal with a child that acts like he is going to throw up, but doesn't have the cognitive ability to do so in the toilet? I tried holding a bucket in front of Anthony, but he doesn't like me doing that.

Friday, July 15, 2011

I have intentionally refrained from posting for some time. While I still think there is value in writing about Anthony--and have had several episodes in the last few months that would previously have spurred me to action--I know that anyone who has read through this blog by now has a reasonable understanding of what he is like. I am to the point where the many other projects awaiting my attention weigh more heavily than documenting yet more variations on a theme. I have decided that any posts going forward will be short unless something unprecedented happens, even if they suffer for readability as a result. My apologies in advance.

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We have had a rather malevolent virus run through our house, first affecting our daughter for about a month, then recently hitting our younger son, my wife, and, surprisingly, Anthony in short order. Anthony has not been sick since the last post in December while others in the family have been, and we still are not used to the idea of him being ill.

We have been caught off guard with Anthony's reaction to this virus, however. In addition to the continuing fever and cough the other family members have experienced, he has also been hit with diarrhea. My poor--and also sick--wife dealt a couple of days ago with the ramifications of him not making it to the bathroom. We hoped that was the worst of it, but yesterday morning had my wife dealing with an even more severe case without him getting out of bed. She made a quick trip to the store for Imodium and adult diapers. I guess we should have expected that no amount of coaxing would persuade Anthony to put the diapers on, so we are trying to monitor him more closely.