An aspect of life with Anthony that is perhaps not as difficult to endure as some but is nevertheless wearisome, is that the scope of activities available to us as a family is limited to those where Anthony's antics will not draw undue attention. That generally means looking for outdoor venues with either a fair amount of ambient sound or plenty of space between people. More often than not, it means we simply avoid going out together. Or, we sometimes end up doing things that are ultimately uninteresting, like navigating a corn maze as we did yesterday.

We tried going to see Toy Story 3 at a second-run theater recently, thinking that if a large tub of (inordinately expensive) popcorn plus soda did not keep Anthony quiet enough even for a building likely filled with smaller children, we could at least take him to stand in the back for the balance of the movie. That turned out to be precisely what happened, but I discovered the extent to which I apparently no longer notice the noise Anthony makes when a younger father sitting in the back row asked if we could be quieter.

Our daughter was disappointed later because she has also tired of the trouble we have in finishing activities together. Whether it is a movie or one of our children's individual recitals or orchestra performances from which I must withdraw with Anthony, we are accustomed to the improbability of having a normal outing.

We of course have asked family members in particular to stay with Anthony while the other four of us go out. That duty has usually fallen to my long-suffering mother, who has endured bites and head-butts too numerous to count. Naturally, we don't want to ask her any more than absolutely necessary, and we try to take him to my parents' house (some distance away) only when my father is available as well.

The ideal situation would be to have an adult male watch Anthony, but we don't see that happening any time soon. We live in an area that has little in the way of public services in that regard, and asking acquaintances would present another set of problems because of concerns about liability if Anthony does happen to attack--unlikely with a male, but not impossible--and reticence of others in dealing with the unknown. I myself would be hesitant to sit with someone else's autistic child despite having one of my own; it is understandable that our friends would be even less comfortable with the idea than I am.